Whether Thanksgiving purists want to admit it or not, turkey just isn’t that good

I love a costume. If I could only publish photographs of my costumes in years past you all would know how hard I commit to a theme.

There was the year that we all dressed up as robbers, my twins disguised as stolen bags of cash, fake money hot glued to their winter hats all nestled in their baby carriers. Or the year I went as an organic pineapple, complete with a hand painted produce sticker, the twins on either hip - as organic peas and carrots.

One year I dressed my newborn as a small fry, her winter onesie transformed into a fry bag, adorned with red grosgrain ketchup curled throughout her 3D foam fries. I was the Diner waitress.

And while Halloween was full of creativity and make-believe and fun - Thanksgiving was full of…turkey. And whether all of the Thanksgiving purists want to admit it or not, turkey just isn’t that good.

I’ve had it fried, smoked, grilled and roasted. And one isn’t notably better than the other.

Turkey is average to begin with, and when we ask any home cook to cook 20-plus pounds of any meat at one time and not dry it out or leave it raw, we’re asking for trouble. I’m not saying, should you be in the small percentage of the population that actually loves the flavor of turkey, that you buck tradition and make something different.

But, if you are a part of the larger group who has always made it because that’s what you’re supposed to do or has ever secretly wondered if Thanksgiving would still be Thanksgiving if you didn’t, I’m here to grant you permission to make anything you please.

The history of the holiday is largely offensive. The origin story of serving turkey is almost entirely fictional. And your family, if they even notice you’ve swapped out the big bird for something more forgiving (and delicious), will find something else to bicker about. I assure you of that.

In 1981 Calvin Trillin, an American humorist and staff writer for The New Yorker, launched a campaign for turkey to be replaced by spaghetti carbonara. In his essay called “Spaghetti Carbonara Day” Trillin rewrites how we landed on turkey as the centerpiece of the meal:

The dish was spaghetti carbonara, made with pancetta bacon, and fontina, and the best imported prosciutto. The pilgrims hated it. They said it was heretically tasty and the work of the devil and the sort of thing foreigners eat. The Native Americans were so disgusted that on the way back to their village after dinner one of them made a remark about the pilgrims that was repeated for generations — and unfortunately caused confusion among historians about the first Thanksgiving meal.

He said, “what a bunch of turkeys.”

If you’ve ever spent the November holiday wishing you could make anything other than turkey, I beg that you do. So long as the day is spent with friends, family and maybe a neighbor or two and a glass of Sancerre — the spirit of the holiday remains.

While we wait for the day’s title to be changed to National Day of Gratitude (which at least for our family grasps the purpose more accurately) and its signature dish to be anything you want it to be, I suggest a beautiful herb roasted whole chicken be at the center of your table this season. That is, if your family isn’t ready for a switch to spaghetti carbonara.

”But First, Food” columnist Whitney Kling is a recipe developer who lives in southwest Ohio with her four kids and a cat. She is usually in the kitchen creating something totally addictive — and usually writing about it.

HERB ROASTED WHOLE CHICKEN

Serves 4-6

Prep Time 1 hour, 15 mins

1 whole chicken, patted dry with a paper towel

1 stick butter, at room temperature

1/4 cup olive oil

8 cloves garlic, peeled

1 shallot, peeled

1 tbsp. Kosher salt

1 tsp. black pepper

1/4 cup fresh sage

1/4 cup thyme

1/4 cup rosemary

1/4 cup parsley

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees and place your chicken in a casserole dish.

In the bowl of a food processor fitted with the blade attachment, place the butter, oil, garlic, seasoning, and herbs and blend until a uniform paste forms.

With your hands, rub the butter all throughout the chicken, covering each surface with the mixture.

Put the chicken in the preheated oven and cook for half hour. Turn the temperature up to 400 degrees and finish cooking until internal temperature reads 165 degrees.

Let rest for 5-10 minutes before serving.

Note: You can use the butter mixture to coat an assortment of carrots, onions, and potatoes and place those below the chicken to roast with the meat if desired.